Pinkcufflynx - Latest Comments in Lets Go Half

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:52:14 -0000

Don't be so hard on yourself. You did wht you felt was best.
Granted, he may feel like it was wrong b/c he didn't have a choice in it and yes men plant their seeds but its us women who are dealing w/ the apple tree, grooming it, protecting it, loving and nurturing it.
Whn two ppl who don't necessarily agree or get along are trying to raise an apple tree to be strong and healthy, it is the tree tht suffers b/c it feeds off of the bad energy.

All too often, the earth yearns for the seed planter to come and tend to tht apple tree he planted but to no avail. The once proud seed planter is then on another mission to get more fertile grounds to plant his other seeds of life.

So Cuz, I say all of this b/c as the ruler and sole owner of YOUR earth, u can't let any ole seed planter plant on you grounds w/o conforming to your terms and ground rules. U knw in ur heart wht u want for your child and wht u don't want and pp r faced w/ decisions everyday regarding abortion, adoption or just throwing their babies in the trash.

Mistakes happen. Don't beat urself up over it.

Re: Lets Go Half

hazysin — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:05:03 -0000

Man, as i reread my post, it saddens me. As a woman, i feel dead inside. I feel like maybe it wasn't the best decision. No matters how much you weigh the pros and cons, not allowing new life to come forth is a hard pill to follow.

Man, he's going through it. He put on his best strong man suit for me but now....

now he;s in mourning. Seriously, he felt this lost more than i simply because in his mind i was the earth in which he choose to plant his seed and im worse than a barren field which produces nothing. I am the destroyer of my own production. In a sense a baby is truly his. Although we (women) carry eggs--he provides the seed.

when i first started studying islam 7 years ago i got into a dispute with a brother because i was pregnant with my son and i repeated made reference to "my baby". He told me i didnt have the right to speak of my unborn child in a possessive manner. I began to debate (2 year citywide debate team champ) reasonings as to why this was my baby and his father was minimal. He allowed me to state my reasons and the would hold weight to anyone in the hood but he shut me up pretty quickly.

The brother said, "if i planted an appleseed right here on Greenmount Avenue what would grow?" Naturally i replied, "an apple tree". He then said, "if i take another seed from that same apple and plant it in china; what will grow?" An apple tree.

My guy--same guy that just last year allowed me to pretty much bully a female into an abortion simply because i didn't believe he was ready for a child--is going off the deep end. He told me he feels this loss simply because he wanted it and while i just killed an egg and i will get another soon....that baby has been in his nutsack his whole life and was strong enough to get here.

i told him i was concern about him and think that maybe he needs to talk to someone but now he just wants his space, even from me. He keeps blaming himself for my decision, he believes his lustful ways led to this situation. I refused to see him for days after the procedure and when he did come see me my son was a constant distraction but he definitely told me that he fells disgust when we are together. My heart is broke in so many ways right now.

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:35:41 -0000

Cuz, the decision u made was for u. I do not judge b/c we all have decisions to make and sometimes they are life and death situations.

I don't have any kids and I don't have the desire to have any kids anytime soon. The only way I intend on having a child is if I get married. Call me old fashioned but like u I don't want to be a baby mama. Not to sayin that being one is bad.

I agree, u have to be careful who u choose to have a child with. It can equal to a life of turmoil and drama if u choose the wrong person.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:34:55 -0000

Lol. Hahaha. Idk whn guys started being like this.

Re: Lets Go Half

SHOEFIENDISH — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:16:41 -0000

& I MEANT PARENTS NOT PARTNER lol

Re: Lets Go Half

ThatchickNik — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:48:47 -0000

One sentence: I wish a nicca would!!!!

Re: Lets Go Half

hazysin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:23:16 -0000

having my son taught me a valuable lesson in procreate--be aware of who you are breeding with.I rolled the dice the first time and im lucky i didn't crap out

Recently, my on again/ off again and i were faced with the baby issue. I truly believed that i was sterile due to a bad pregnancy until last October. We were told by a pregnant doctor while i was on a completely unrelated ER visit. So i guess, we knew what we were getting ourselves into.

My feelings regarding another baby are as follows:
1. I will NEVER be a "babymama" again. I made a decision to have at child out of wedlock @ 18.
2. My desire to have another child is minimal.
3.If i do decide to birth more babies, it will be at my HUSBANDS request. No marriage, no baby.
4. I will NOT get married because im pregnant.

My guy, he knows these things. He has been on of my closest friends, to the extent that he was the first person i told i was pregnant with my son. I determined DURING the delivery of Khalil there would be no repeat....

Then my doctor told me i was pregnant last month and my whole world fell apart. Primarily because he doesn't have any children and anything less than a baby would destroy our already fragile relationship. So i intially did not tell him.I in fact i layed ALL my evidence out as to why he was a dog and left him. Lord know i love him, just not enough to persecute a child by giving it less than a functional family. My son will son be seven and i watch him go through it when he has two parents, 2 homes and everything he asks for.

With all that said, i was still entertaining the idea of bringing forth new life, simply because as a woman that what im designed to do. My son is already doing his own thing.Boxing, friends, video games and part of me misses my baby. What if i never got pregnant again, i would hate myself. Khalil wants a sibling--he's not even picky anymore.

those thoughts had me straddling the fence.

Last week i started bleeding, bad. I told him. How could i not, i was planning to anyway. Since i decide to do it again. Have the baby, that is. I can't even lie, inside i was excited as hell. He was angry at being in the dare but too concerned about my health to bitch. I hadn't miscarried but man did the shit hit the fan. See he knew my feelings and i knew his but before i could really express my feelings about having the baby, i listened to him.

His mindset was not that of really having a child, it was more of keeping ME sane. Although he wanted a child and believed that i was the ONE, he stood back and watched. He pushed his selfish to the side and saw it as i did--we have NO intention on being together, why put a child through that. We come from 2 completely different ends of the spectrum..he come from a 2 parent home of doctors; i was a foster child.

I got an abortion yesterday.

Re: Lets Go Half

SHOEFIENDISH — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:37:53 -0000

PEOPLE AMAZE ME HOW THEY SAY U SHOULD REALLY KNOW WHOM UR HAVING CHILDREN BY, I FEEL ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO TRULY DETERMINE IF SOME1 WILL BE A GOOD PARTNER OR NOT. I KNOW MEN AND WOMEN THAT I THOUGHT FOR SURE WOULD BE GOOD PARTNER BUT THEY ARE N.O...T, TRICKERY CAN EXIST IN SITUATION(PEOPLE CHANGE). THIS HAS BEEN A PROBLEM FOR ME THE WHOLE BABY TALK SCARES ME AND HAS GOTTEN A FEW MEN CUT!!! DONT MENTION HAVING KIDS W/ME PERIOD, I WOULD LIKE TO PLAN MY PREGNANCY & IT WONT BE BE HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON, IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO W/IT!!!

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:51:16 -0000

He's in his early 30's :)

U knw me twin. My post about waiting until I'm 40 is still in stone lol. I may move it up to 38 but thts not a definite. And believe me, I knw its a huge commitment whn it comes to kids.

Re: Lets Go Half

HeadMistress — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:24:14 -0000

Haha this is very Will & Grace (gay or not).

How old is he? My twin telepathy says "nah" you're too young, especially since your timetable for having a baby is totally different - don't change your life plan to suit anybody, not even a friend - that's a huge commitment and if he's the same age as you and he's really deadset on havin a kid let him find a desperate older broad whose on her "last egg" :-D or at least someone who is working with a similar timetable

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 07:39:16 -0000

I don't thnk he's gay :) I just thnk tht he never wanted to be tied down in a relationship b/c he was young and the females were endless. If I was a guy I wouldn't be w/ just one ;)

Now tht he's older, I thnk he wants a child. I don't fault him b/c I feel tht if I am at the age whr I want a child and I'm not in a relationship/marriage to have one then I would ask a guy friend who I feel would be a great guy for me to have a baby with.

I feel u on the whole "no marriage, no kids" thing b/c I feel the same.

Re: Lets Go Half

DMarie — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:03:12 -0000

Well when I first read the post I started to think if maybe ol' boy was gay. Because you said that he was an attractive good guy, but no woman or kids. Sorry girl sounds like brother might want a beard to have his kids. Either way hell no. no marriage no kids

Re: Lets Go Half

Blacksand — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:44:58 -0000

True indeed, only he really knows.

You are right on it. No pun intended. I am glad you are thorough and evaluate all of your options as well as the ramifications of each option.

It is flattering to know that someone holds you in such high esteem. You obviously have your stuff together.

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:14:11 -0000

Thts a good way to approach things. I never thgt about it like tht.

Plus we share mutual friends and I don't care wht ppl say but it might b a little weird for ppl if we decided to go tht route.

Which I doubt lol.

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:13:57 -0000

Both of the reasons u listed probably isn't far frm the truth but who really knws wht someone's true intentions are.

A wrong decision on my part will alter and change my life. I can either give of myself sexually and things will change or I can give him a baby and I'll be a mother for a lifetime.

I was actually flattered tht he felt I was someone he could raise a child with but I knw better.

Re: Lets Go Half

Ness — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:13:22 -0000

Yeah I knw!

Re: Lets Go Half

Princess0889 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:56:28 -0000

I see where you coming from but like blacksand said there are only two possibilities for this proposal.

My best friend (5yrs) and I have had this talk about a year ago and I figured out he was asking because we have no secrets between us. He said he feels like we could see me as a great mother and a person he could never see his self hating. We have come to a decision that if he feels the same way in about 4 years we could. SO we will see.

Re: Lets Go Half

Blacksand — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:05:09 -0000

I second that reaction my brotha!!!!!!!!

There are only two options here. If he is the type of brother you say he is.

1.) He wants to experience you in all your glory.

2.) He really wants a child and believes in his heart you will be a good mother and partner in the raising of a child.

Either way, you are head and shoulders above any women in his life. Otherwise, he would not share his hearts desire with you and ask you a question that is life altering.

I can understand where he is coming from. The good thing for him is that he knows someone he can ask, you. The ball is in your court beautiful.

Re: Lets Go Half

MR JOHNSON — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:21:37 -0000

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww !