Good morning beautiful, this is a good question. I no longer go back in time. I tried once and failed miserably. She was older than I was and I was naive. I thought it was us but it was all about her. We were at the park. I was balling and during the game she took a bathroom break and got it in with some dude.
I will forever keep the past in the past. There are no second chances. Once I say it is finito, it is finito. I had to be hurt to see clearly.
Other than that relationship all of my other ones were smooth separations maintaining friendship or a good level of civility and respect.
Ness
· 5 months ago
Dang bruh! See...tht is exactly why I can't go back and deal w/ someone frm the past. They don't appreciate wht they have b/c they already had it.
Its like driving a luxury car like a porche. Ur gonna take care of it. But once u sell it ur done. If u ever get it back it'll be regular b/c u've been thr, done tht.
Blacksand
· 5 months ago
Yeah beautiful, it was not a good look. I was furious but did not knock the brotha out. I told her how I felt and left. I will say the experience changed me though. I began to keep people at arms length after that. I understand what you are saying completely.
Your example was right on point. Where were you when I was 20? (SMILE) I could've been a contender!!LOL!!
Ness
· 5 months ago
Well tht depends on how old u r now lol. I might have been younger or older thn u lol.
At least u learned but didn't hold it against every female u met after tht.
Blacksand
· 5 months ago
I am thirty something now.lol That would've been interesting.lol
Yeah, I definitely forgive and forget. I a try not to hold onto to things that do not add value to my life. And there is no way I could hold that against every female. Yal have poured too much into my life for me to do that.
Ness
· 5 months ago
Thts a stand up way to be!
30 'somethng'?..hmmmm I'm early 30's so tht means whn u was 20 I was w/my first love or breaking up w/him and going to college lol.
Blacksand
· 5 months ago
I appreciate the vote of confidence. That means I am doing something right.:o) I'm gonna stand as long as I can!!lol
We would've hit it off from the jump. I know we would've been friends. Dang, I should've spent more time in New York!! I let one get away!!!!! SMILE!!
MR JOHNSON
· 5 months ago
HELLO PCL FAMILY I WOULD LOVE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND REKINDLE A RELATIONSHIP I HAD AT ONE TIME , I REALLY LOVED THAT GIRL SHE HAD MY HEART IN HER HANDS (IM NOT SURE IF SHE KNEW ) I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING BOUT MAKING THIS GIRL MY WIFE BUT DUE TO FAMILY I HAD TO RELOCATE TO ANOTHER STATE AND OF COURSE IT HAPPENED "DISTANCE" THE KILLER OF LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS LOL , I KNOW IT PROB WONT WORK NOW BCUZ WE R TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE NOW AND HAVE MOVED ON TO NEW PEOPLE . I GUESS SOMETHINGS JUST NEED TO STAY IN THE PAST . I STILL LOVE THAT GIRL , MAN I MISS THOSE DAYS .... I WONDER HOW SHE FEELS ?
Ness
· 5 months ago
I knw how u feel. I had a similar situation so I knw. :)
I'm sure she knws how u feel b/c u sound like u don't hold back.
Hey u never knw how things will work themselves out
SassyScorpio
· 5 months ago
If I could I would go back to in time to date my first love. The relationship was great. We separating because of distance but we are still friends and talk every now and then and I always say to him we make good friends, but deep down I want more. It's hard to bring up the past so I just let it go.
I feel if its meant to be no matter what it will be. I feel that with past and future relationships
Ness
· 5 months ago
I agree u on tht one. If its meant to be then it will happen in due time :)
If not then at least both ppl knw tht they still have a friendship and most of the time, tht is more meaningful thn a relationship :)
SassyScorpio
· 5 months ago
Yeah I feel having good people in my life is important
marie
· 5 months ago
I try to keep the past in the past. There's always a reason, one way or another, that the two of you quit talking, so it should just be left alone.
Ness
· 5 months ago
True, some reasons are mutual due to distance. Not necessarily due to cheating or any other foul play.
Ness
· 5 months ago
True, some reasons are mutual due to distance. Not necessarily due to cheating or any other foul play.
hazysin
· 5 months ago
Good morning cuz, For some reason my narcissistic mind wont stop me from doing the back to the future thing.
Recently i bumped into this guy i went to middle/high school with. Girl, he was even sexier then i remembered. In high school we flirted but i was doing me and he was a lame ( no confidence). I agree to go out on a date and everything, although i did advise him of my current situation. We had a well enough time but i love my boo and nobody from my past is worth it, you know
HeadMistress
· 5 months ago
It all depends on why it ended the first time, I think it can work but it takes work
I went back and this time it's an LDR and unfortunately it's not working - not so much because of the distance just other ish...but I'm almost on the better side of "over it" so it's best if I don't dwell on it... :-(
Sooooo how 'bout this weather we're having :-D
morethenahandfull
· 5 months ago
I believe if it is meant to be it will be! Me and Mr. met when I was 16 & he 19. Due to the age differenceI was kind of reluctant to get serious about him due to friends and my older 2 sisters getting dogged by guys. So, I did me during our relationship cheating, going out with other guys or whatever I wanted to do. The one thing I didn't do was lie, if he asked I told him the truth. Ultimately I hurt him but he was in love with me, I was still unsure. All in all, it took me leaving to go in to the military to see how much we truly loved each other. After leaving at 21 and returning at 25 I could finally appreciate how he treated me, loved me, respected me but by this time he was engaged to a girl that he was going to college with. After returning home & getting settled back in we decided to see each other and within days he broke off his engagement and we gave it another shot. Luckily my dipping back in the past worked for me/us! I think the main reason that it worked for us is because I needed to grow up and get out of my comfort zone and experience different things in life. Luckily, my joining the military made me a much more responsible as well as honarable person. For the first time I was able to see that his intentions were genuine and that I couldn't give him a title based on the guys in my sisters lives. We have been married for almost 3 years now and I do not regret going back.
Ness
· 5 months ago
Wow, ur situation worked out quite well!
Good thing ya'll gave it another go b/c ya'll might have been stuck in an unhappy relationship never knwing wht thngs could have been :)
KSASSY
· 5 months ago
I LEAVE THE PAST IN PAST, I DON'T MOVE BACKWARDS ONLY FORWARD.
morethenahandfull
· 5 months ago
@ Ness I worked in my favor and I am so greatful that it did!
rhian
· 4 months ago
yea i have wanted to get reacquainted with ma ex cuz we so close more like best friends but when the opportunity actually came around ,things had changes n were two completely different persons by then so we decided to just be friends
TRJ
· 4 months ago
i have tried to re-live the past but my attemps failed. i recently tried to revive a old friendship that involved sex but the sex was not what i was seeking. the reason we stopped talking was because she found out about a past relationship that i wasnt over completely however we were starting to grow close but she began to feel that i was using her for the sex since i hadnt lost all my feelings for my ex. although that was not the case she stood behind her feelings and moved on. i wanted to show her that+our+friendship+was+real+and+more+than+sexual+pleasure+but+my+efforts+were+futile.+i+now+realize+that+i+must+understand+what+i+did+wrong+in+situations+resulting+in+losing+a+friend+or+breaking+up+with+someone+and+learn+from+those+mistakes+instead+of+asking+for+a+do-over.++++++++
ThatchickNik
· 4 months ago
Hey Nessy!!
Whew chile! everytime I've thought about and/or actually went through going back to an ex, Im sorely reminded of why the hell we broke up in the first damn place. Nope! no ma'am! cant do it! The ONLY exception is if this man has shown a drastic change or growth, which is very rare, especially for folks over 30.
Ness
· 4 months ago
Whts up Nik :) U r so right. If ur not w/someone then its for a reason.
But at the same time, some ppl had really good stories in getting back w/an ex.
So it goes both way :) Just not w/me hahahahha.
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
I saw an ex the other day and she looked phenomenal. She seemed to be doing well. I gave her a hug and told her she looked great. She smiled, said so do you and asked me who's sitting on your back while you do your push ups now jokingly with a giggle... I laughed it off. She then congratulated me on my house and joked about not being invited over yet. I just smiled and said she was always welcome. She texted me this morning and invited me out to an early dinner at Sequoias in georgetown. What do yal think.
SassyScorpio
· 4 months ago
Hey Black! How are things?
Sounds like she's not over you yet...tread lightly.
Ness
· 4 months ago
But u knw how females r. We ask certain questions, and make certain statements to get info from guys w/o asking.
For example, the reason why she brought up the house was to see if he lived w/anyone. The question about who sits on his back while he does push ups is to see if he's dating someone.
She wanted to knw how he would reply b4 asking him out.
In my opinion :)
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Yal are so calculating it is not funny. You are a genius Ness. She's trying to get at me. Thanks for the insight beautiful.
SassyScorpio
· 4 months ago
True. But why do we want those answers and reactions is the question...
*rasies the right eybrow*
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
I stopped trying to understand women a long time ago. I let everything take it's course now. I think she enjoyed seeing me and maybe became curious. Other than that, I do not know.
You do raise an excellent point Sassy one. HHHHMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
Ness
· 4 months ago
B/c we want to feel in control. We want them to thnk about us after we have walked away ;) We want to knw if we still got it and if we can still get it ;)
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Those are the same things I think about. Impressive!
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Those are the same things I think about. Impressive!
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
All is well over here!! I am house hunting!!:o)
You think, she was the one who ended it. I was against her decision and let her know that was not what I wanted. I will take your advice to heart. I told her I will let her know by 2pm.
SassyScorpio
· 4 months ago
I say go...she might just want to be friends, you never know...just be certain with what you want and stay true to you.
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
It is on. Friendship would be nice. I am free and clear. I am by myself and seeking better understanding of my life for myself.:o) I just want to be happy.
Ness
· 4 months ago
Awwww and I want u to be happy too black :) so for the sake of man kind, blow her back OUT lol.
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
I am sorry for not greeting you. Good morning beautiful, how are you.
I am happy and tired!HEHE The Blacksand experience was more than she could handle. I thoroughly enjoyed her. (deep breath) Your wish was/is my command!!
Ness
· 4 months ago
Oooooooooookkkkkaaaaayyyyyyyy (said like lil john) lol.
I hear tht hot sh*t ;)
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Yeah, I had her looking at me like I can't believe this N!&&@ is stroking me like this. I just looked at her and said "J'aime comment vous me recevez" (I Love how you receive me). She loves it when I speak French or Spanish to her in bed.HEHE Being tri-lingual has it's advantages.HAHAHA!!
Ness
· 4 months ago
I see! Hahahahha. I never had a guy speak any other language except for english lol.
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Ne dites jamais jamais beau, Il pourrait arriver quand vous le moins vous y attendez. Votre homme pourrait vous surprendre dans le français. (Never say never beautiful, It could happen when you least expect it. Your man might surprise you in French.) Or spanish: Nunca digas nunca bella, que podría pasar cuando menos lo esperamos. Tu hombre puede sorprender en español
It can happen!!
Ness
· 4 months ago
I agree :)
Ness
· 4 months ago
I say go out, chat it up. Its nothing wrong w/ being friendly. Personally, I like playing catch up w/ past ppl tht ended well :).
I would go.
Tell us all about it afterwards :)
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
And here we go!
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Dinner was nice. She had on spaghetti strap sun dress. I had on a tan linnen outfit. We actually had on matching colors and did not plan to do that. she greeted me with a big hug. She smelt wonderful. She ordered some wine and I had a strawberry daquiri.(no alcohol) She ordered shrimp and I had crab cakes. Conversation went well. We talked about everything. She was surprisingly open with me during and after dinner. I did not expect that. I was guarded in my responses to her. I wanted to see what she really wanted so I just came out and asked her where does she see this dinner leading too. Without hesitation she said I miss you, your touch, your kiss, the way you loved me and then she apologized. I asked for the check shortly thereafter. We walked for a minute and continued to talk. I could see that she had matured and grown mentally. She was not the same young woman I remember. She was new and improved. Her sense of humor was still on point as well. As we walked to and through the garage I looked her in the eyes and said your place or mine. She looked me in the eyes and answered mine. I love it when a woman is confident about herself. It is so sexy to me!!!!!
We got to her condo and she was all over me. I picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. It was a good night. A gentleman does not kiss and tell. HEHEHE!!!! Needless to say she was reaching for stuff that wasn't there. She really enjoyed the tongue spanking she received. She is now a squirter. Shortly after I entered her she had tears in her eyes while she was squeezing me saying I Love you. When I put her on her hands and knees it was a wrap. She could'nt handle it and went to lie on her stomach. She was a trooper though. She kept saying OMG you fill me up and you are so thick, I Love you. Stroke me papi. When she said don't hold back I didn't. We switched positions. She got on top and kept cumming. She didn't go in today.
Ness, I blew her back out.
Ness
· 4 months ago
Aight Black!!!!! Aren't u glad u decided to on tht date :). No stings attached, both of ya'll r consenting adults, it couldn't have been any better :)
Did u stay the night? Is tht why she didn't go to work today lol.
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Good morning beautiful, I am glad I took your advice Ness. It was a good evening, night and morning. I had a good time with her. No strings just good enjoyable company. I also liked the fact that she knew what she wanted. There was no indecision, she was straight to the point and I respect that.
Yes, I did stay the night. and yes before I left I had to touch her one more time. I got cleaned up left a plate of fresh fruit nicely sliced on her kitchen table. All she had to do was get cleaned up and enjoy her breakast. I was late for work myself. LOL She earned that nice table setting and fruit plate. HAHAHA!!
Ness
· 4 months ago
Hahahaha let me find out tht she put it on u too! U made her a fruit platter in the morning ;)
Blacksand
· 4 months ago
Indeed, I was in the kitchen putting together a fruit platter. She handled her buiness!!!HAHAHA!!! You were'nt supposed to catch that. I tried to slide that one in on the end!!!!!LOL!!!
All Comments
I will forever keep the past in the past. There are no second chances. Once I say it is finito, it is finito. I had to be hurt to see clearly.
Other than that relationship all of my other ones were smooth separations maintaining friendship or a good level of civility and respect.
Its like driving a luxury car like a porche. Ur gonna take care of it. But once u sell it ur done. If u ever get it back it'll be regular b/c u've been thr, done tht.
Your example was right on point. Where were you when I was 20? (SMILE) I could've been a contender!!LOL!!
At least u learned but didn't hold it against every female u met after tht.
Yeah, I definitely forgive and forget. I a try not to hold onto to things that do not add value to my life. And there is no way I could hold that against every female. Yal have poured too much into my life for me to do that.
30 'somethng'?..hmmmm
I'm early 30's so tht means whn u was 20 I was w/my first love or breaking up w/him and going to college lol.
We would've hit it off from the jump. I know we would've been friends. Dang, I should've spent more time in New York!! I let one get away!!!!! SMILE!!
I'm sure she knws how u feel b/c u sound like u don't hold back.
Hey u never knw how things will work themselves out
I feel if its meant to be no matter what it will be. I feel that with past and future relationships
If not then at least both ppl knw tht they still have a friendship and most of the time, tht is more meaningful thn a relationship :)
For some reason my narcissistic mind wont stop me from doing the back to the future thing.
Recently i bumped into this guy i went to middle/high school with. Girl, he was even sexier then i remembered. In high school we flirted but i was doing me and he was a lame ( no confidence). I agree to go out on a date and everything, although i did advise him of my current situation. We had a well enough time but i love my boo and nobody from my past is worth it, you know
I went back and this time it's an LDR and unfortunately it's not working - not so much because of the distance just other ish...but I'm almost on the better side of "over it" so it's best if I don't dwell on it... :-(
Sooooo how 'bout this weather we're having :-D
All in all, it took me leaving to go in to the military to see how much we truly loved each other. After leaving at 21 and returning at 25 I could finally appreciate how he treated me, loved me, respected me but by this time he was engaged to a girl that he was going to college with.
After returning home & getting settled back in we decided to see each other and within days he broke off his engagement and we gave it another shot. Luckily my dipping back in the past worked for me/us! I think the main reason that it worked for us is because I needed to grow up and get out of my comfort zone and experience different things in life. Luckily, my joining the military made me a much more responsible as well as honarable person. For the first time I was able to see that his intentions were genuine and that I couldn't give him a title based on the guys in my sisters lives. We have been married for almost 3 years now and I do not regret going back.
Good thing ya'll gave it another go b/c ya'll might have been stuck in an unhappy relationship never knwing wht thngs could have been :)
I worked in my favor and I am so greatful that it did!
Whew chile! everytime I've thought about and/or actually went through going back to an ex, Im sorely reminded of why the hell we broke up in the first damn place. Nope! no ma'am! cant do it! The ONLY exception is if this man has shown a drastic change or growth, which is very rare, especially for folks over 30.
U r so right. If ur not w/someone then its for a reason.
But at the same time, some ppl had really good stories in getting back w/an ex.
So it goes both way :)
Just not w/me hahahahha.
Sounds like she's not over you yet...tread lightly.
For example, the reason why she brought up the house was to see if he lived w/anyone. The question about who sits on his back while he does push ups is to see if he's dating someone.
She wanted to knw how he would reply b4 asking him out.
In my opinion :)
*rasies the right eybrow*
You do raise an excellent point Sassy one. HHHHMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
You think, she was the one who ended it. I was against her decision and let her know that was not what I wanted. I will take your advice to heart. I told her I will let her know by 2pm.
I am happy and tired!HEHE The Blacksand experience was more than she could handle. I thoroughly enjoyed her. (deep breath) Your wish was/is my command!!
I hear tht hot sh*t ;)
It can happen!!
I would go.
Tell us all about it afterwards :)
We got to her condo and she was all over me. I picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. It was a good night. A gentleman does not kiss and tell. HEHEHE!!!! Needless to say she was reaching for stuff that wasn't there. She really enjoyed the tongue spanking she received. She is now a squirter. Shortly after I entered her she had tears in her eyes while she was squeezing me saying I Love you. When I put her on her hands and knees it was a wrap. She could'nt handle it and went to lie on her stomach. She was a trooper though. She kept saying OMG you fill me up and you are so thick, I Love you. Stroke me papi. When she said don't hold back I didn't. We switched positions. She got on top and kept cumming. She didn't go in today.
Ness, I blew her back out.
Did u stay the night? Is tht why she didn't go to work today lol.
Yes, I did stay the night. and yes before I left I had to touch her one more time. I got cleaned up left a plate of fresh fruit nicely sliced on her kitchen table. All she had to do was get cleaned up and enjoy her breakast. I was late for work myself. LOL She earned that nice table setting and fruit plate. HAHAHA!!